How Do We Tell Our Guests That We’re Having an Adults-Only Wedding?

Something New Blog: How Do We Tell Our Guests We're Having an Adults-Only Wedding? | Weddings Illustrated

Image via Maria Lamb Photography

This week’s question: “We want to have an intimate, adults-only wedding that we can enjoy with our friends and family worry-free. How do we tell our guests that their children aren’t invited?” 

Whether or not to invite kids to a wedding is an age-old debate, and one that, if handled insensitively, can cause hurt feelings among friends and family members, as well as added stress for the bride and groom. If you’ve already made the delicate decision to keep your ceremony and reception kid-free, consider these tactful ways to communicate your mandate to families on your invite list:

• Address invitations specifically to the guests you’re inviting (for example: Mr. and Mrs. Ben Smith, instead of, say, The Smiths).

• Do the same with your save-the-dates, which will give guests a longer lead time to find a sitter.

• On your RSVP cards, write in—or have printed—the names of the people invited (like you did on the invite’s envelope), and have them check “will attend” or “will not attend.” That way, there’s no guesswork for your guests.

• If friends or family members question your decision—or, worse, ask for an exception—be kind but firm and chalk it up to budget constraints. Budget is a sensitive-enough subject that they’re likely to leave it at that.


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